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Roll Back My Stone

from Where Is Winter? by Primer & Grayscale

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about

When Mary Magdalene came to Jesus’ tomb she found it empty and the stone that covered the entrance rolled away. Both the empty tomb and the stone rolled back marked the sign of resurrection, the throwing off of death to walk again in life. Though no one else has resurrected himself by his own power in any time before or since, many of us experience various forms of proto-resurrection. When God assured me of His character I experienced a resurrection out of the malaise. When I fled Kerr and spent a week in the woods with nothing but a sketchpad, some granola bars, and my Bible I experienced a spiritual resurrection that radically changed who I was. God was gracious to me and pulled me out of my despair. That was a form of resurrection.

But for my friends who are clinically depressed the knowledge of God is not enough to cure their illness. True depression is not a spiritual, but a physical problem. It is important to recognize the distinction between being depressed and having depression. A series of traumatic external circumstances can make a person depressed for a time, even a long time, but they cannot give a person depression, which is a clinical illness resulting from chemical imbalances. Unfortunately, many in the Church do not properly understand this distinction and treat depressed Christians as if they are weak in faith. There is a false conception that the depressed Christian denies the regenerative work of the Holy Spirit, in essence choosing to remain dead instead of accepting new life. For anyone struggling with clinical depression, it is immediately apparent that this is not true.

lyrics

I wanna change, at least I think so
I wanna roll away my stone
I’m sick and tired of being feeble
But I can’t seem to pull my body from its hole
So I pace for hours in the attic
Back and forth, to and fro, all alone

This isn’t what I wanted, no oh oh oh
This isn’t what I hoped for, no I hoped

That time might let me roll my stone back, stone back
Time might let me roll my stone back, stone back

Well I asked you where the light went
And you said:
“If you’re tired of stumbling,
Just use the light-switch”
Well I wish it was that easy
To leave behind your burdens
But my stone won’t roll away
It’s shackled to my ankles
And I can’t pull the weight

But time might let me roll my stone back, stone back
Time might let me roll my stone back, stone back

Has anybody told you
That everybody hurts
That what you feel is normal
Somebody has it worse
No, you were never special
How dare you feel depressed
Just suck it up and smile
It’s all just in your head

Well I guess it’s all just in my head
Well I guess it’s all just in my head

Well I guess it’s all just in my head
(This isn’t what I wanted, no oh oh oh)
Well I guess it’s all just in my head
(This isn’t what I hoped for, no I hoped)

credits

from Where Is Winter?, released April 22, 2017

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Primer & Grayscale Beaver Falls, Pennsylvania

Primer & Grayscale is a lyric-driven indie/punk/emo band from Beaver Falls. We're dedicated to making art that is honest, heartfelt, and thought-provoking.

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