Earnest's Law

from by Primer & Grayscale

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For me, often the worst part of my experience was not my depressed or anxious episodes, but the all-encompassing dull apathy that I felt about everything, including the things that I used to love. Walker Percy calls this feeling malaise, and it came to define my daily experience. In these times it seemed like no matter how hard I tried I could not pull any succor out of life, the entire world became as characterless as those off-white Kerr walls. It made me fairly complacent, but also left me devoid of motivation.

On the opposite end of that headspace was Earnest, who could not seem to escape his thoughts for more than a brief moment. Where much of my pain was passive, his was perpetually active, where I felt almost content to call the dark my friend, he wanted nothing more than for all of it to just go away. We were equally hopeless, but postured differently. It was not until I was able to take his perspective that I was even open to receiving hope.


Harmony is dead to me
Like the siren song of yester-year
And I can smell the stagnant stench of apathy
Descend on my room
You’re begging me to climb the ladder
But breathing here is half the battle
I’m caught in the discrepancy ‘tween where I am
And what I hope

And I want to believe
That this isn’t all I’ll ever be
And I want to believe
That this isn’t all that I will be forever

Some days honestly I want to be
Anyone except for me
I started thinking entropy runs in my genes
Makes up my bones
I’ve learned to sink in shallow water
I’ve flown the coup just like my father
I played the lamb, became the slaughter
Now I’m alone

And I want to believe
That this isn’t all I’ll ever be
And I want to believe
That this isn’t all that I will be forever

Well maybe I’m running
But I’m all out of time and out of places to hide
Maybe I chose this
But I have no confidence my choices were right

But at least I tried


from Where Is Winter?, released April 22, 2017



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Primer & Grayscale Beaver Falls, Pennsylvania

Primer & Grayscale is a lyric-driven indie/punk/emo band from Beaver Falls. We're dedicated to making art that is honest, heartfelt, and thought-provoking.

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